New Drive...

Ambition was never really my forte.... But this new year, i seem to be overcome by a new drive for success and need to be somebody... Maybe the many losses in my life that i need to put a stop to it... I dont want to lose anything any more... Gaining seem to be the drive behind my ambition... I have been quite upset by my carreer path and how i have been stagnet for the past 6 year in my job...Now into My seventh year, i dont want to where i am now... I had enough..Its time to move up... I really want to learn new things and progress... Today, I attended a short seminar called "Branding Yourself" by my company. I learn some very interesting things of my own self image portrayed on a corprate level..Maybe i have been potraying the wrong ideas to my bosses...After the whole session, i made me more driven to change myself and give a more postive and reliable image...I am giving so much pressure on myself that i am having a headache thinking of it... Like i said, i was eager to progress and was so upset at the slow pace that i sent an email to my direct supervisor to make known of my thoughts and feelings. I have included the email for everyone's reading pleasure. I feel so much better after sending out...It was like getting a load of my chest...
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From: Ling, Jean
Sent: Tuesday, January 09, 2007 7:38 PM
To: Tan, Dennis
Subject: Just for Your Info.
I decide to send you this email.. Coz you are my direct manger and I don’t wish that someday I would get so upset with the work that I blow up in some meeting and that will reflect badly on me. And the other reason is because I feel bad as I was a little sarcastic in my reply to Khalad yesterday… but I will not apologize for it… What upset me is not really the fault of the management but the quality of work I can offer… I know I may not be the most hardworking or the smartest.. But I know I am willing to learn new things of my job….I don’t want to go to another meeting with Eunice asking what have I done…It is not I don’t want to learn or help, it is just I don’t seem to have the chance.. Judy learn John's work and Suzhen learning from Khalad… Good for them.. But I cant help but feel bypassed on purpose as I hate to go to another meeting when people say what have I done when I don’t have any chance to learn anything… I know everyone will get a chance to learn everything. but seriously Judy has been taking 2 month to learn John's stuff. I am sure she know how to do it but just not confident enough… But her lack of confidence should not be a hindrance to me in learn the things that I need to learn for my job…
I have recently stop be to jovial at work…I kept very quiet recently and I hate this attitude I need to keep… But I cant really be myself as in the past because I feel that due to my happy-go-lucky smile and way I act… nobody think I take my work seriously and I want to be taken seriously…
This mail is just for your information …no actions is required

Regards Jean Ling ( UBS Futures Singapore Ltd )
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i wonder if i sounded too harsh..hmmm