Defination of a close "friend"

In every person's life, friends come and go... but close and good friends are hard to come by. As for me, i used to have 3 but now i am left with 2. But yesterday i was felt hurt by one of them. Every one has a part of us that no one will even know or understand, only u yourself can understand that part of you. As for me, i will agree that that particular part of me is quite a big part. On the outside, i may seem like a noise machine but i keep alot of things of myself private to myself. im a very reserved person and find it impossible to tell anyone how i really feel. But no one is an island on the own, that is why we have friends. As many of my friends will know, i am reaching my big "3" with lighting speed. So i suddenly decide i will just join one more pagent before i am too old to do so. Maybe u will say its menopause...or crazy...or thinking too much... I will agree to u maybe it's true... but i decide to go ahead with it coz i want it to be my mental booster and confidence uplifter... it was probably sometime i want to do before im too old for it... okie back to my real point... when i was chosen for the heats of it.. i went to tell this good frd of mine..coz my determintion got moved when a frd who was supposed to go with me back-out so i hoping to get a support from a friend. But instead she disappointed me... to quote what she said " You always laugh at other pple..now u are turning to be like them... "Pagent crazy"... just go lor... i also dont want to know" although she did not say them all together but hearing them is enough to feel slapped hard in my face.. I was not expecting this from her.. I know she has always been direct but this is not direct already... I will not mind her laugh at me or making a joke out of it, but at least i was hoping for a " haha..u very vainpot leh..u join again... okie lah...go lor... i will be there to support u". This was what i HOPED she would have said but i was wrong... even when i told a close guy frd... he laugh about it but at least he said " remember to take photos for me to see okie?"...